Birders Make Better Lovers
By Corey • September 20, 2009 • 14 commentsThere are way too many birders out there who do not have a significant other or who have a significant other that does not appreciate their birding partner’s birding. I say we should revel in our birding and take pride in what we bring to the table and to the bedroom and our partners should appreciate us for who we are! Birders are wonderful people and I should know, I am one. We are kind, caring, considerate, and conscientious and not only that but we like people too! Don’t believe me? Well just check out this list of the top ten reasons that birders make better lovers…
10. Birders get up early and will gladly make the coffee or tea in the morning.
9. Birders are usually more than willing to entertain you and your friends by imitating bird calls.
8. Whenever you need white noise to fall asleep to all you have to do is ask your birding partner to describe the different plumages of a four-year gull.
7. Have you been in a relationship where you feel smothered? Well, that won’t happen with birders because birders are too busy birding.
6. Birders can wait patiently for hours for a few seconds of excitement when they see a rare bird. This patience and dedication translates well (wink wink nod nod).
5. Birders like to venture into wet, wild, hidden places and will, if necessary, wear waders.
4. With their knowledge of biology and attention to detail birders are great at, ahem, well, this is a family-friendly blog, if you know what I mean…
3. Birders never refer to their bits as Hairy Woodpeckers, American Woodcocks, Bushtits, Cock-of-the-Rocks, Great Tits, or any other bird name. I promise.
2. Have you ever seen some of the more bizarre mating dances that birds do? Yeah, well, birders have.
1. Birders are very appreciative of every single addition to their life list.
So consider taking home a birder tonight. Once you get the mudstains off your carpets and the Tilly Hat off the birder you will be glad you did!
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Birders know exactly which sounds to make at all of the right moments
On the other hand, birders are obsessed with taking super-magnified photographs/videos of extremely intimate and privileged views and posting them on the internet . . . or so I would imagine, not that I would know . . .
Nice!
Birders love a good Rough-faced Shag
Oh and for #3, you forgot Caucasian Snowcock
Not that I know anything about that…
You don’t have to worry if your partner wants to go to a tropical island to look at boobies.
@All: Keep them coming folks, keep them coming…I’ve already almost spit coffee once this morning!
I like Johns comment! Very funny post!
But what about the partner that says…no not tonight honey..I have warbler neck.
Wow - two months ago I would have believed it. But I went with a big birder to his nest recently. Wish I’d been given a field guide first, but I did get a leg-banding demo! And there’s nothing like feeling as if you’ve been added to a collection… Talk about flighty!
Sorry, still a little bittern. I’ll stick with insects, thanks.
…at the request of the commentor.
I don’t want to ruin the moment, but Donna, I’m just an amateur bughead, so your reference to “Ode” had me thinking poetry, as in “Ode on an Aleutian Tern” or something, instead of dragonflies. But I’m glad you agree.
My aver treated me like a Common - need I say - Moorhen? Birders make better lovers, my Accipiter!
Hey John
You are absolutely right. Who can resist Peruvian Boobies? Totally entangeled me. Should I be worried that Luciana 2.5 years old also likes Peruvian Boobies?
@ Donna: you are aware though what Odes usually do with the private parts of their victims? Ever wondered where those anatomical sketches came from in an Ode identification guide?
Surely not through x-ray radiographs.
I wouldn’t be too bittern and rather go for a “better view desired” birder option than a man of the Odes.
Concerning #3…
In the words of Rep. Joe Wilson “You Lie!”
Birders are the most perverted people I know.