New Anti-bird Measures on all Airplanes

By Corey • February 9, 2009 • 1 comment

In a rapid and rather disturbing decision, the Federal Aviation Administration has decided to immediately implement new anti-bird measures on all airplanes in the wake of the recent near-tragedy in New York City. The bold decision, derided by anti-government right-wingers as “big government run amok” will be fully implemented within two months. Exactly what is this bold new policy?

Adapted from a widely-forwarded email. Does anyone know who came up with this? If so, I would like to attribute it. Hope you enjoyed it!

Tags: cats, humor

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About the Author

Corey

Corey is a New Yorker who has lived most of his life upstate but has spent the last three years in Queens. He's only been birding since 2005 but has garnered a respectable life list by birding whenever he wasn't working as a union representative or spending time with his family. He lives in Forest Hills with Daisy, their son, Desmond Shearwater, and their two indoor cats, Hunter and B.B.

One Response to “New Anti-bird Measures on all Airplanes”

OpposableChums Feb 10th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
That’s a classified photo from the government’s Operation Purina file. You’ve heard of “cow-catchers” on the front of trains: this is a “bird cat-chow.”

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Asides

A team of researchers has found that the populations of common birds around the stricken Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan has plummeted. Most disturbingly, the populations of species that the area has in common with Chernobyl has fallen more in Fukushima than they did in the site of worst nuclear disaster in world history.