To quote from a report in the Observer newspaper, “More than 35 million animals were legally exported from the region over the past decade…and hundreds of millions more could have been taken illegally. Almost half of those traded were seahorses and more than 17 million were reptiles. About 1 million birds and 400,000 mammals were traded, along with 18 million pieces of coral. The situation is so serious that experts have invented a new term – empty forest syndrome – to describe the gaping holes in biodiversity left behind…”

People are apparently cowering in their homes in a small village in England.  The cause of their fear?  A terrorist pheasant.  No, I am not making this up.  Perhaps we shouldn’t be closing Guantanamo Bay?

The vicious bird has launched several unprovoked attacks on villagers in recent weeks. Men, women, children, prams, bikes, dogs and cars are said to have have fallen foul of the bird in Newsham, near Richmond, North Yorkshire. There are tales of the plucky cock lying in wait for children to get off the school bus, before chasing them screaming to the village green.

In response to the repeated pheasant attacks Gordon Brown, desperate to do anything to improve his poll numbers, stated:

We shall defend our island from the pheasant, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight the pheasant on the beaches, we shall fight the pheasant on the landing grounds, we shall fight the pheasant in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight the pheasant in the hills; we shall never surrender to the pheasant*

Hopefully, the campaign against the pheasant will end soon enough and everything can return to normal.

*There is no evidence whatsoever that Gordon Brown said any such thing.

Tests show three California Condors found dead in Arizona last month died because they ingested lead pellets while feeding on carrion. Az has a voluntary lead-free hunting program in condor areas - which patently isn’t working. It’ll be made mandatory soon, right? Wrong. The NRA are planning to defend hunter’s rights to use lead “against the claims of extremist environmental groups” and are “especially interested…because California condors were introduced to Arizona based in large part on express promises…that the reintroduction of condors would not be allowed to impact hunting.” And I’m still constantly told that hunters are conservationists at heart…

When one combines mildly crazy kayakers, eagles, the Hudson River, and winter, one could end up with a disaster.  Fortunately, Ol’ P and Splash (one of whom is my uncle), made it out alive and you can read all about it on the Malden Yacht Club Blog (No, they don’t own yachts, and, no, ladies, I won’t give you their phone numbers. Look, just click the link would you?  There is a diagram that explains everything!).