I recently found out that on this planet of ours there exist people, actual living, walking, breathing people, who claim that birds are robotic drones used by the governments around the world for the purpose of espionage. Those are most likely the same individuals who believe that Australia doesn’t exist.
Now, let’s distance ourselves from reality for just a moment and consider this ridiculous conspiracy theory to be remotely possible. In that case, I think I can guess the perfect candidate that gave birth to such a ludicrous idea: the Trogons. And who better than the Black-tailed Trogon (Trogon melanurus) who has perfected the peculiar habit of turning and tilting its head very slowly as it peers about while quietly perched.
Mainly a species of the Amazonian lowlands (two other disjunct populations exist from central Panama to northern Colombia and in western Ecuador and northwestern Peru) they are heard more often than seen as they tend to remain well above the ground, favoring the forest canopy to subcanopy. If you really want to get good views of one though (they are very rarely seen in higher numbers at one place) then the best thing to do obviously is to climb a canopy tower. Which is exactly what I did. As the bird likes to sit motionless for long periods on a stout limb, often well in from the outer foliage and near to the main trunk, canopy towers are the perfect place for close views as they hug the main trunk of the tree so the stoutest of the branches are close at hand.
On the way to to the top I got fantastic views of birds and other wildlife because they were at eye level. It was so easy, no neck straining! When I finally reached the top a whole new world opened. Birds were basically everywhere around me. Macaws and other parrots were circling; new world warblers, honeycreepers, attilas were flitting here and there; the branches were covered with woodcreepers and an occasional woodpecker was to be seen; cotingas, aracaris and barbets were numerous on neighbouring trees. Among the myriad of birds was a single Black-tailed Trogon, not ten meters away from me adopting the typical very upright stance. It perched completely still, like a statue. At times it just looked so fake. It’s amusing to think we simultaneously took photos of each other, it probably with a hidden spy camera for an eye. Ridiculous. Then at some point it started to slowly roll its head from side to side and to peer upward. Then it abruptly sallied forth to capture an insect probably from amidst the foliage before continuing on to another perch. In the end it flew off, probably back to HQ to give away our position.
There you have it. Avian spy drones are real and they charge on power lines. Please don’t hesitate to give examples in the comments of other interesting birds that come to your mind whose behaviour fits the picture of a government surveillance drone.
I’d go given the opportunity, but as I even struggle on a small ladder changing a light bulb at home, I’d die a thousand internal deaths on the way up and a million deaths on the way down!
And of course birds aren’t real – all government spying drones. Especially those in tropical rainforests or Australia’s interior as there’s so much interesting stuff for the government to spy on. In other news, around a third of millenials in the US aren’t entirely sure we live on a globe and not a flat disc. Good times.
Great article. Where’d you get that photo of the crazy person’s van? I would like to have it to show my crows and ravens. They’re always in need of a good laugh.
It’s funny and sad at the same time. I watched the Netflix documentary on the flat-earthers and this lady said “She was looking for a cause to support” and then joined the flat-earthers. Protecting drones and their habitats just seems so much more worthwhile and rewarding…
Don, the van is just a prank. The guy even has a webpage and FB page called Birds aren’t real. It’s pretty funny actually. He makes fun of conspiracy theories.
Yes, I am all for protecting drones. I am convinced those bird-drones were specifically built by a superior flat-earth race beyond the “Antarctic” ice wall to keep our world disc level and hovering.
If it wasn’t for them, we’d sink to the bottom of the abyss and all die. So we all need to support nature … wait … drone conservation to save humanity.
Aleksandar, Don: there’s even a wikipedia page about the “birds aren’t real” prank. I am just not convinced such pranks at this point in time are a smart idea as a much-too-high percentage of people seeing this van will actually believe it is true and incorporate it into their pizza-gate lizard people flat-earth world view. Exactly right, Peter: funny and sad.
The Blac-and Yellow Broadbill featured to the right of the blog looks a good match – it isnt even a convincing model! Also, I am still not certain aboutPotoos and Frogmouths.
Alan, I have to admit that the broadbill is fake. I bought it in a toy shop on Sabah, put it in a tree, and took photos. But to be fair, it is not a drone, just a toy. Now I think I should have bought a more realistic-looking toy bird – it is a bit too obvious.
I am 100% certain that owls aren’t real. I had an encounter with a pygmy-owl (Or pygmy drone) today, and it sat quite still, as if it were on some battery saving mode. It turned its head around to look at me, no doubt scanning me and my camera, scope, etc.
We must push on and resist, no matter what the drones might throw at us.
Jokes aside, I’d love to go to a canopy tower, it must be a fantastic experience.