I wasn’t ready to talk about this last week – and besides, last week’s post was mostly written a few weeks ago, before life got in the way of publishing it until then. But I wouldn’t be able to go on posting another routine Birds and Booze review at 10,000 Birds this week without mentioning that Katherine, my fiancée and partner for the last seven last years, passed away two weeks ago from a very brief and unexpected illness. She was far too young and we were looking forward to many more years together.
Katherine wasn’t a birder, as much as I tried to make her one early on in our relationship. I had high hopes she might take to it: she was intelligent, observant, and always curious, and enjoyed being active in the outdoors. I figured she’d be hooked after an outing or two. But that never happened, which was probably for the best. I don’t think it took her very long to realize how much my obsession with this hobby interfered with meeting the demands of responsible adulthood, generally preventing me from becoming the sensible and wonderfully well-rounded person she was. I have no doubt she was somewhat horrified that her partner would feign illness and leave work early to chase a county rarity, for instance. She also thought it was perfectly reasonable to sleep in until 10:00 on a Saturday morning in May, especially after seeing me struggle through spring migration year after year, sleep-deprived, cranky, and sore-necked – not to mention being unreasonably miffed about whatever birds I may have missed. Besides, she had plenty of her own much more productive hobbies and interests, like gardening and sewing, which kept her at home and within petting distance of our two indoor cats, Baltie and Pennsy.
Katherine may not have been a birder, but I can’t say she wasn’t a good sport about going along for the ride (or more accurately, giving me a ride before I finally learned to drive). Sometimes I even caught her taking more interest in the birds than she probably wanted to let on.
However, Katherine did always enjoy helping me find birds in wine shops, beer distributors, and liquor stores – and she was actually a lot better at it than I am. A good number of “my” finds for Birds and Booze over the years should really be credited to her sharp eyes. She also traveled for work a lot and would sometimes pick up bottle and cans I would never be able to get my hands on back home in New York, which I also reviewed here. And as much as I hate to admit it, she was often a lot better at spotting real birds before I did, and without even trying. I also have to thank her and credit her patience in teaching me that all-important birding skill of driving, following my painful transition from New York City subway rider to upstate New York birder.
Taking a non-birder shorebirding is just about one of the worst ideas out there, but that certainly didn’t stop me. I think Katherine was a bit amused that I caught her apparently enjoying herself a bit too much in the previous photo.
Of course, Katherine made a wonderful drinking companion, too – I hope you didn’t think I was polishing off all these bottles by myself! We didn’t always agree on everything. She hated sauvignon blanc and IPAs and always claimed the latter smelled of cat piss. And to be truthful, now that I’m cleaning the litter box full-time without her, I understand where that comparison came from.
So, whether she knew it or not, Katherine was always an important but uncredited part of my posts here at Birds and Booze and I would be remiss if I didn’t write a few words recounting her contribution. It’s just one more of the many ways she made so many things that much better, in my life and in the lives of all who knew her. I know I won’t find as much enjoyment in a bottle of wine without her, but I’ll have to try. Besides all that, Katherine was just a wonderful person and a joy to know. I miss her so much already.
Katherine grew up in northern New York a few miles from the Canadian border. On our way back home from visiting her hometown during the holidays, we’d usually stop at various Adirondack sites to bird. Bloomingdale Bog was always a favorite stop, even if the jays sometimes rudely refused our offerings and the chickadees nipped Katherine’s frozen fingers.
Birds and Booze will return next Friday with our usual weekly review.
Good birding and happy drinking with your friends and loved ones.
So sad, please accept my condolences
I am so sorry. My sympathies to you and to Katherine’s family.
I’m so sorry for your loss Tristan.
Reading your memoriam of Katherine was uplifting and takes courage to write. I am so glad you can share these wonderful memories of her with us. I lost my husband of 46 years in May from congestive heart failure. He was my loyal birding companion and photographer since we got serious about birding in 1978. My deepest condolences as you continue on your journey.
A beautifully written tribute, at once both so sad but also uplifting and inspiring. I’m so sorry for your loss and send you positive vibes and best wishes from the UK. Take care, stay safe and keep birding.
Tristan, Loved it. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
Tristan, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds though that you had beautiful relationship and wonderful times together . Those memories will help you make it through the next few months, years… Take your time, lean on your friends and family and find solace in birds..
Beautiful tribute. Wishing you strength and perseverance during this tough time.
Thanks for sharing with us about Katherine. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My deepest condolences to you and her family.
I love your reminiscing and have learned so much more about Katherine today. Thank you for that
My prayers are with you.
Thank you for finding the strength to write this. I hesitated about writing about losing my father on this website late in 2016, but we are all here for each other and you will find solace in nature. Take care…..
So sorry for your loss.
A lovely tribute to Katherine and your life together. Thank you for sharing some of her generosity and grace with us.
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful partner, and a good sport. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Dragan.
Thank you, Pat.
Thank you, Mia.
Thank you, Rebecca. I’m glad to know you had such a long and wonderful relationship with your husband, but I know how painful it is to lose the one you love. You have my sincerest sympathy as well.
Thank you, Tony. She always made my birding better, even if she wasn’t a birder.
Thank you, Aunt Ann 🙂
Thank you, Pamela. I’m finding that birds are one of the only things that seem to make anything better these days. It’s comforting to know I can probably rely on that for the rest of my life, even in the most difficult times.
Thank you, Faraaz. If this little piece let people who never met Katherine know how wonderful she was, I’m happy.
Thank you so much, Gail.
Thank you, Jason – that truly means a lot to me.
Thank you, Clare. I just read your dedication to your father – please accept my belated condolences. At first I wasn’t sure if I would write about Katherine here, but in the end, it really felt good to say a few things about her. I’m finding it’s important to seek out the good and happy moments in life these days, even if they seem impossible.
Thank you so much, Paul.
Thank you, Donna. Putting part of my relationship with Katherine into words – even if it was mostly about our funny bond as birder and non-birding partner – was an unexpectedly welcome and peaceful effort.
Accept my deepest condolences.
“That it will never come again, is what makes life so sweet.”
-Emily Dickenson
A touching tribute.
Our thoughts are with you.
Hi Tristan. I’m catching up on my 1000birds reading and I just found your beautiful tribute to Katherine. Thank you for sharing some of your memories with us. She sounds like a very special person. Please accept my deepest sympathy.
Tristan, all of us are so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing this tribute: it makes me wish I could have met Katherine myself.
So sorry for your loss. ??
Wow Tristan, I’m so sad to read this. I’m sorry for your loss and thinking of you. I hope we can get together for an outdoors beer in Albany soon, and raise a glass to your beloved Katherine. It’s home brewing season again in my house, and I should have an ale ready to share in my backyard soon. Had a Swainson’s Thrush in the yard yesterday. Family year list stalled at 160. Best bird remains the Harris’s Sparrow from Buckingham Pond. What a year…
Thank you so much, Jennifer.
Thank you, Marko. I like that quote – it could apply to so many things in life (especially in birding!).
Thank you very much – I’ve really appreciated all the support from the writers at 10,000 Birds.
Thank you, Corey – it means a lot to me. I wish you and so many other people could have met her over the years. She really was wonderful. And thanks to you and Mike too for letting me write here about drinks and birds, which has been so much fun over the years. I think having this outlet means even more to me now.
She was very special, Lisa. Thank you very much for your condolences. I’m glad I’ve been able to convey just some of what made Katherine so wonderful in this modest little post.
Thank you so much, Jeremy. I really do appreciate your words and sympathy. I am glad you got to meet Katherine a few times; we always did enjoy chatting with you at HAF events.
Having some homebrew sounds like a good time. Let’s plan something soon, before it gets too cold! I need to get back to brewing myself soon.
Anyway, 160 sounds like a pretty good haul, especially considering what this year’s thrown at us all.
Thanks for sharing your memories of Katherine and about your life together. Sorry for you loss.