Ten Easy Ways to Spot a Birder

If you need a friend – or somebody to make fun of – it can be helpful to know some easy ways to spot birders. Here are ten ways that give these magnificent creatures away.

1. They have no life.
   
2. All birders plan their vacations around weather forecasts and migration schedules – business birders prioritize business trips for birding potential rather than business success.
   
3. Their fashion sense is best described as rudimentary: at least one silly hat, earth tones, and multiple pockets.
   
4. They are rarely happy with the weather – too windy, no birds, no wind, too many mosquitos.
   
5. They think most other birders are either incompetent, too noisy, or liars. Normal people don’t even merit an opinion.
   
6. When taking a walk with other people, they constantly point out birds even though clearly nobody is interested.
   
7. They think it is perfectly normal to get up at 4 am.
   
8. They think “ticks” are a good thing.
   
9. They think of sewage ponds and garbage dumps as great vacation spots.
   
10. They tend toward one-upmanship: “I saw a Serin the other day”. “But I saw a Dodo getting eaten by a Haast Eagle in 1567.”
    
    Bonus:
    
11. They have lists for everything: “Birds spotted in movies”, “Birds seen while eating at McDonald’s”, “Best Bird Books printed in Helvetica font”, and of course, “Ten Easy Ways to Spot a Birder”.

Photo: Tibetan Serin, Tengchong, Yunnan, China. Thanks to Peter for his help in preparing this list.